Why are communities so divided?

IT'S A DISTRACTION THAT WILL MAKE THE ENTIRE COMMUNITY LESS EFFECTIVE!

Sorry for the shouting but, this has come up a lot recently.  Communities loose their effectiveness when they allow differences in perspective to overshadow the common struggle or goal.

I don't care if you call my child autistic. I don't care if you call him a child with autism. And, I don't care if you have a preference for yourself or your family member because I would be more than happy to say it however makes you feel the most comfortable. I'll even listen attentively to why you prefer it. Don't ask me to feel the same way about it.  Don't make it an issue that will prevent us from going out and fighting to help people with Autism.

Attacking each other over views on therapies or vaccine injury is equally ridiculous.  Look, I know there are strong feelings on some of those issues but, calling someone a quack isn't helpful. What really matters is that there are people with children and they love their kids and are trying to help their kids.  If we could see that first, the love, the dedication, I think it would help diffuse the attacks.  I am all for debate, even heated debate.  Debate is helpful but, division is not!

And to the adults with Autism who attack the parents who are trying to help their kids, when I read your comments on blogs, it makes me want to scream sometimes.  (Let me be clear that I am only speaking to the select few out there who spew venom at the world. I know at least 5 adults with autism and none of them speak that way about others.) Look, I know that you feel like us parents, who are trying to help our children, are attacking you but, we are not.  We are glad to see adults with Autism that are able to dive into the discussion.  As our kids get older, your perspectives are going to be invaluable to us.  We need you!  But......we have children who are in pain from sensory issues.  Why would we not want to help relieve their pain?  We have children who have a difficult if not impossible time carrying on a conversation with someone their own age.  It makes it difficult to have friends.  Why wouldn't I want to help my child have friends?  I want them to be able to see something from someone else's perspective so they can reach out and have deep and meaningful relationships because that is what has been the most important part of my life.  Why wouldn't I want that for them? We have children with anxiety problems that effect their ability to do just about anything. Why wouldn't we address that?  And, sometimes selfishly, we have dreams for our kids that we feel have been stolen by Autism.  We want to them to be able to play a sport, enjoy school activities, find a job they like or be a stay at home parent, give us grandchildren, etc.  Those aren't awful dreams.  We love our kids and are willing to adjust our dreams.  Just because we acknowledge that giving those dreams up is hard and causes some grief doesn't mean we think our kids are less.